Divorced parents never stop being moms and dads. Even after their children are grown and their child support and custody agreements are no longer applicable, parents may still feel that they have financial obligations to their children — or at least want to help them pay for college or their first car or home.
Another big ticket item may be a wedding. If your child wants a large wedding, they may ask for your help. You and your co-parent likely didn’t address this subject in any of your divorce documents. That means you’ll need to have some communication now about helping out with wedding expenses.
This can be a challenge if your relationship is still less than amicable. However, it’s essential to remember that this is about your child. Don’t let your own issues keep them from having their dream wedding if you’re able to help out.
Some divorced parents contribute an equal amount to the wedding expenses. If one parent has greater financial resources, they may contribute the larger amount. However, the parent who pays more shouldn’t use that as an excuse to take control of the wedding — from their child or their co-parent. Helping out with wedding expenses shouldn’t be a power play.
Whatever you and your co-parent decide about how much you’ll each contribute to the wedding (and perhaps honeymoon) expenses, let your child know so that they can plan accordingly. Don’t let your continued battles add to the stress that your child is likely already feeling around their upcoming nuptials.
A child’s upcoming marriage can be a difficult time for all parents — including those who are still happily married. It’s a significant milestone. Many parents see it as the beginning of their child’s adulthood and the end of their dependence on them. It’s best for everyone if divorced co-parents can be supportive of each other — and of course, of their child.